Uppercrust Pretzels

Uppercrust Pretzels
Uppercrust Pretzels

I realize there are many, many food blogs out there. Some better than others. Some quite terrible. I stumbled on to one that was just basically a blow-by-blow retelling of Bourdain’s TV show episodes by a woman who obviously got very hot and bothered by the surly guy.

This is just another food blog in the great sea of food blogs. What makes ours special? Most likely that you know us. Or that you live in the area and are kind of interested in recommendations for things to eat around here.

If you haven’t been to Uppercrust (I keep running into people that have never been *aroooogah!* what?!) then take yourself up there immediately. Well, make sure you go early in the day because the place sells out quick. If you can make it past the pastry displays and get to the checkout without breaking your bank, then have a look on the counter there near the registers. They sometimes have baskets of the freakishly large pretzels up there.

You may have picked up that The Man lacks some impulse control when it comes to food. So of course he always attempts to buy at least a dozen of these things. I act as the sanity in this arrangement and cap him at something reasonable. One is enough to make me burst at the seams. We usually get a regular salted one and a cheese one. Flavors available vary apparently on the whim of the bakers. They sometimes even have chocolate ones.

You’re not going to find something like this very often. This is not a state fair or gas station pretzel. This is not one of those glossy jobs that look like they’ve been closed from some impossibly pretty but flavorless bread product. Those mall pretzels with the big zits of hard salt scattered over them? Nope. This is the real article, my friends.

I personally like to tear these into chunks and eat them straight out of the bag while we’re driving. Confession: I like it this way because I can stuff the big chunks into The Man’s face and save the little knobs at the bottom for myself. The Man likes to bring them home and pop them back in the oven so they get hot and crispy. I chop them up with sheers so they’re easier to dip into some spicy mustard.

And the last thing I can say about these pretzels is that at about $2.50 a pop, you can’t go wrong. Even if you’re one of our more thrifty friends, once you get your chompers around one of these, you won’t complain about the price.

Uppercrust
4116 NW 16th Blvd
Gainesville, FL 32605
Phone: 352.376.7187
uppercrust@uppercrustproductions.com
UppercrustProductions.com

Hours: Monday – Saturday | 8AM-7PM

[Girl21]

Pistachio Pinwheel, Uppercrust

Pistachio Pinwheel

I’m not a competitive person by nature. No really, it’s true. But when I race into Uppercrust on an afternoon and see only one pistachio pinwheel left in the case, I’ll elbow my own grandma out of the way to get to the front of the line.

We have always gone for our regular pastries at Uppercrust, but one of the staff recommended these funny looking guys one day, and we’ve been hooked ever since. Generally, anything with pistachio in it is fair game. Add that to the flaky, puffy, sugar-topped pastry of a pain au chocolate, and it’s more than you could imagine. I don’t even mind the last lumpy and hunch-backed pinwheel in the tray.

There’s a $5 French name for the pistachio pinwheel, but I barely clawed my way through my French classes in high school (I got a D++, so that was technically passing), and so I have a mild aversion to memorizing anything to do with the language. And besides, Pistachio Pinwheel describes it perfectly, and it’s a bit festive.

Unless you like hearing your arteries harden as you eat, I absolutely suggest sharing one of these with someone rather than attempting one on your own. They’re as big as your hand, and topped with a butter/pistachio deliciousness. And then sprinkled liberally with that chunky decorator’s sugar. The Man and I can finish one between us easily, but one is usually enough. If anything, split a pain au chocolate also. Chocolate!

The other day when I dashed through Uppercrust and made my ridiculous purchases, I am pretty sure I didn’t physically harm any of the customers who were in my way. I think I did cackle a little though when I left. I don’t think anyone heard me muttering, “My precious… My precious…” though.

Pistachio Pinwheel
About $3.75-4.50
Uppercrust

[Girl21]